Retail Chronicles: The Chronicling Part 3: It Smelled of Cabbage and Feet... and was Annoying...

Well, I'm still at it trying to clear up my backlog of BS. Today's tale is about a coworker who only lasted a week before they let him go.

Now, anyone who has ever had a job knows that there is at least one dude at the office that no one likes. Be he annoying, a know-it-all, smelly, stupid, lazy, etc. Every once in a while, however, there is someone who manages to roll all of these traits into one and become an aberration so abominable that it defies logic. This type of worker is like an eldritch abomination, try to imagine Cthulu's annoying brother, not as scary but just as madness inducing. Now this is a rare individual, you may work your whole life and never encounter one and you would be wise to hope that's the case. But those of you that are unfortunate enough you have my pity.

In this case we have an individual that in the span of two nights had a crew of 30+ people wishing him ill will. I was almost impressed with his level of dislikabileness but he was so dislikable I couldn't be. This is the kind of individual that assumes you're his best friend after a single meeting even if said meeting ends with you telling him you hope he dies. He was the newbie on our team and rather than accepting advice and guidance he tried to tell us how to do things and was so wrong it would have been funny if it weren't so sad. He actually walked up to random people and quoted Chuck Norris facts. He was a touchy feely person and violated peoples bubbles. He tried to snark but always and invariably failed. He was very weak and insisted on helping do things that required physical strength then whined about how heavy everything was. He hid when we had boring/hard work to do. And worst of all he didn't wear deoderant and ended up smelling like a combo of cabbage, wet dog, and rot.

I could have handled this, believe it or not, but the poor fella thought he was the most awesome person in all of Awesometown, maybe even the mayor. It was so annoying that after the third day of the week the bosses were already planning to an him. Why oh why was he even hired is what I wonder. . .