People often accuse me of being an idealist. Someone who believes that the world is good and people are good and good is good and bad is good and that air tastes like marmalade and... blargh... In reality I'm a cynical pragmatist. I believe that people are bastards and that the world is a sick, sad, miserable sack of hopelessness and sorrow. I fully realize that any efforts I make to better things are ultimately going to be fruitless and pointless and may even end in me being punished for them. I realize that we live in a world in which vice, avarice, rapaciousness, and stinginess lead to success and the alternative leaves us weak and ineffective. I know that the base drives, greed, lust, pride, and hunger are what drive us and without them we would not have progress. I believe there there is no great reward in the afterlife for our sacrifices if we don't we resist all of the "bad" things above. I know that there really is no good and evil or right and wrong, that those are only constructs that we apply to reality to classify things for easier understanding; much like numbers and concepts of up and down, they exist nowhere but in our minds. I know what I find vile and loathsome may seem good and righteous to another. I believe that there really isn't even such a thing as objective truth. I know all this and it makes me sick to my stomach.
How then, can I live my life as anything but an ineffectual nihilist ranting about the uselessness of doing anything? Why am I not some gibbering lunatic spouting incoherent revelations at the masses? Why do I bother to wake up and eat in the morning? How do I decide what is and isn't right for me? How do I see any meaning in anything? Simple, I do what works.
I believe that there is no grand purpose so I validify my existence with the belief that I should leave everything a little better than it was before I was there and that's only because I'm a perfectionist. I don't believe in right and wrong so I decide my course based on what works best for me while hurting as few others as possible. I don't hurt others because I feel I should give the same respect I demand. I get up every morning and keep on going because I find purpose in little things, If something made me smile or laugh at all then it was worth waking up. Following the above mentioned guidelines has me taking actions that would lead some to call me an idealist but it's not idealism that guides me, it's just warm-hearted pragmatism.
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