Wow, I haven't posted on this in. . . man my analogy well is dry. . . anyway, I haven't posted in a long time.
Anyway, we're currently balls-deep in the republican primary race. The economy is puking up it's guts like it just drank two fifths of bottom-shelf bourbon on top of Chinese food. The Tea Party is still crazy and they now have a crazy rival in the 99% occupy wall street folks. Our politicians are fighting like. . . I'd say cats and dogs but not strong enough. . . dwarves and elves. . . no. . . Steelers and Browns fans. . . no. . . DC and Marvel fans. . . like water and hydrophobic molecules. . . no. . . like some things that really hate each other, I guess that'll have to do. Anywhoo, as such we can't get anything done and our political system is trapped in a gridlock while things get progressively more grim and dark.
So, with all this bollocks goin' on then it's not surprising that some people have decided that they have all the answers to fix all our problems and that gullible people believe them. What most people fail to realize is that our systems and institutions are broken beyond repair. Now don't get me wrong I'm not for all that end is nigh gloom and doom bull. Fact is things never worked right from the beginning. Shit was broken before it came outta the box. At the risk of sounding trite "The best laid plans of both mice and men often go awry." or in other words things never work out like planned.
If you're an American like me then you've been indoctrinated into the world of free market economics and our infallible constitution. To quote Fire Marshal Bill "Let me show ya somethin'." Ceteris paribus, or roughly translated as "all other things being equal. In economics we preface any statemetnt with the above phrase. That's because the laws of economics only exist so long as we assume that people will do what's intelligent and rational. Free market economics, like communism, works beautifully on paper. Smith's "invisible hand" guides us and everyone gets what they need and economies thrive and we live in a meritocratic utopia. This, however defies what we know, people aren't rational and don't always make decisions intelligently. People are irrational, greedy, erratic, and short-sighted. As such free market economics have not and will not ever work. Our economic system was always broken.
Our constitution isn't perfect either. It's the smallest constitution written in any democratic nation ever. Furthermore it was written by a bunch of rich, hidebound, prejudiced old white businessmen who specifically wanted to create a form of government that allowed them to get richer and stay that way. Why do you think the biggest issue with Britain were their taxes? The constitution was ratified in 1788 and had no mention of slavery in it, slavery wasn't outlawed until 1865 and African Americans weren't even treated as human in most of the country until the passing of the Civil Rights act in 1964 and tons of legal battles from the 50's through the 70's. After Kennedy's assassination lack of foresight in the succession of the presidency left our country effectively leaderless until he was officially declared dead (an issue corrected by the 25th amendment). The mere existence of the amendment process is evidence of it's imperfect nature. Our constitution is just an old piece of paper that got our government started it's not infallible and it's certainly not perfect.
The point here is that things are broken but they've never worked right to begin with. We'll never have all the answers and create a perfect system. All we do is stumble in the dark trying to find our way. We make the best out of the situation that we're in and that's the best that we can do. So when anyone tells you that they have the answers, that they can fix all the problems they're just blowing smoke. There are no right answers, there are no absolute solutions and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you whether they are aware of it or not.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Beware Maxwell Edison or the last sound you'll hear is doink. . . or the sound of your skull fracturing, I dunno...
Now, I don't make animated videos. I don't have the patience or the steady hand necessary to do the artistry and I have more important things to do with my time like working and staring into blank space. However, I do watch them and give props where they're due. That being said I felt like listening to one of my favorite Beatles tunes. A happy, upbeat sounding diddy about a serial killer who bludgeons people to death, it also as a sick bass line. Said song is Maxwell's Sliver Hammer by The Beatles. While surfing about I found this video on youtube and felt the urge to share it. Enjoy.
P.S. This was always one of the odder Beatles songs, even if you disregard the subject matter. It was a McCartney tune and he claimed it's about unwanted surprises rather than a serial killer. Harrison and Lennon always hated it and Ringo, well... he was just being Ringo I guess.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Retail Chronicles: The Chronicling Part 3: It Smelled of Cabbage and Feet... and was Annoying...
Well, I'm still at it trying to clear up my backlog of BS. Today's tale is about a coworker who only lasted a week before they let him go.
Now, anyone who has ever had a job knows that there is at least one dude at the office that no one likes. Be he annoying, a know-it-all, smelly, stupid, lazy, etc. Every once in a while, however, there is someone who manages to roll all of these traits into one and become an aberration so abominable that it defies logic. This type of worker is like an eldritch abomination, try to imagine Cthulu's annoying brother, not as scary but just as madness inducing. Now this is a rare individual, you may work your whole life and never encounter one and you would be wise to hope that's the case. But those of you that are unfortunate enough you have my pity.
In this case we have an individual that in the span of two nights had a crew of 30+ people wishing him ill will. I was almost impressed with his level of dislikabileness but he was so dislikable I couldn't be. This is the kind of individual that assumes you're his best friend after a single meeting even if said meeting ends with you telling him you hope he dies. He was the newbie on our team and rather than accepting advice and guidance he tried to tell us how to do things and was so wrong it would have been funny if it weren't so sad. He actually walked up to random people and quoted Chuck Norris facts. He was a touchy feely person and violated peoples bubbles. He tried to snark but always and invariably failed. He was very weak and insisted on helping do things that required physical strength then whined about how heavy everything was. He hid when we had boring/hard work to do. And worst of all he didn't wear deoderant and ended up smelling like a combo of cabbage, wet dog, and rot.
I could have handled this, believe it or not, but the poor fella thought he was the most awesome person in all of Awesometown, maybe even the mayor. It was so annoying that after the third day of the week the bosses were already planning to an him. Why oh why was he even hired is what I wonder. . .
Now, anyone who has ever had a job knows that there is at least one dude at the office that no one likes. Be he annoying, a know-it-all, smelly, stupid, lazy, etc. Every once in a while, however, there is someone who manages to roll all of these traits into one and become an aberration so abominable that it defies logic. This type of worker is like an eldritch abomination, try to imagine Cthulu's annoying brother, not as scary but just as madness inducing. Now this is a rare individual, you may work your whole life and never encounter one and you would be wise to hope that's the case. But those of you that are unfortunate enough you have my pity.
In this case we have an individual that in the span of two nights had a crew of 30+ people wishing him ill will. I was almost impressed with his level of dislikabileness but he was so dislikable I couldn't be. This is the kind of individual that assumes you're his best friend after a single meeting even if said meeting ends with you telling him you hope he dies. He was the newbie on our team and rather than accepting advice and guidance he tried to tell us how to do things and was so wrong it would have been funny if it weren't so sad. He actually walked up to random people and quoted Chuck Norris facts. He was a touchy feely person and violated peoples bubbles. He tried to snark but always and invariably failed. He was very weak and insisted on helping do things that required physical strength then whined about how heavy everything was. He hid when we had boring/hard work to do. And worst of all he didn't wear deoderant and ended up smelling like a combo of cabbage, wet dog, and rot.
I could have handled this, believe it or not, but the poor fella thought he was the most awesome person in all of Awesometown, maybe even the mayor. It was so annoying that after the third day of the week the bosses were already planning to an him. Why oh why was he even hired is what I wonder. . .
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Retail Chronicles: The Chronicling, Part 2 Obesity, Scooters, and Chips
Alrighty, today's rant doesn't involve co-workers but rather a really, really, really fat motherfather that was accosting me DURING MY BLEEDIN' BREAK!!!
I don't have anything against fat people. I'm somewhat less than in shape myself. That being said, there is a point where someone becomes so fat that they are more amorphous blobs that they are people. These individuals often are wheezy, smell like old bologna sandwiches, have more chins and rolls than an art exhibit consisting of chins sculpted from rolls, and can't walk farther than a few feet without being out of breath and hurting their knees. What's always amazed me about this level of fatness is that it is HARD to stay that fat. First of all, if you're that fat you likely don't work so it's hard to afford enough food to stay that way. Furthermore, you have to be so incredibly sedentary that it's likely impossible to be entertained. Really, if you just ate like a normal person and walked around a bit you'd lose some weight.
But I digress. The other day at work I went on break and was trying to track something down for lunch. As I was wondering about the groceries a very large man riding an electric scooter noticed that I was an employee and muttered something in a lazy wheezy voice to get my attention. Assuming that he just needed help finding something or getting something down from a high shelf because he was to lazy to get out of his scooter I turned around with a poorly faked pleasant smile. Rather than ask for help he started yelling at me because we had recently relocated the chips. Before I could point him in the right direction he scooted off with a wheezy huff. I just shrugged and continued looking for some chow. Then a few minutes later he came back and started yelling at me like it was personally my fault that the chips had moved amd calling me names like "bastard" and "moron" I must have glared something fierce because he then scooted off again. So, back to shopping and then I hear the telltale sound of an electric motor coming my way again. Now the fat bastard was driving around me like a fat hyena circling a potential meal heckling and deriding me because apparently I had moved the chips just to be vindictive... At this point I almost snapped. It took all my willpower not to yell out "You don't need any goddamn chips tubby, look at you." then reach down, unplug his scooter's battery and walk away leaving him stranded unless he could muster the energy to get up. Mustering all of my will I simply replied in the most strained and curt voice I've ever heard, "Sir, I DID NOT move the chips. In fact, I'm on break. However, if you'll be quite for a moment I'll point you to them." Moments later the fat bastard was scooting off to his chips.
Maybe karma kicked in and he got tainted chips that gave him severe food poisoning...
I don't have anything against fat people. I'm somewhat less than in shape myself. That being said, there is a point where someone becomes so fat that they are more amorphous blobs that they are people. These individuals often are wheezy, smell like old bologna sandwiches, have more chins and rolls than an art exhibit consisting of chins sculpted from rolls, and can't walk farther than a few feet without being out of breath and hurting their knees. What's always amazed me about this level of fatness is that it is HARD to stay that fat. First of all, if you're that fat you likely don't work so it's hard to afford enough food to stay that way. Furthermore, you have to be so incredibly sedentary that it's likely impossible to be entertained. Really, if you just ate like a normal person and walked around a bit you'd lose some weight.
But I digress. The other day at work I went on break and was trying to track something down for lunch. As I was wondering about the groceries a very large man riding an electric scooter noticed that I was an employee and muttered something in a lazy wheezy voice to get my attention. Assuming that he just needed help finding something or getting something down from a high shelf because he was to lazy to get out of his scooter I turned around with a poorly faked pleasant smile. Rather than ask for help he started yelling at me because we had recently relocated the chips. Before I could point him in the right direction he scooted off with a wheezy huff. I just shrugged and continued looking for some chow. Then a few minutes later he came back and started yelling at me like it was personally my fault that the chips had moved amd calling me names like "bastard" and "moron" I must have glared something fierce because he then scooted off again. So, back to shopping and then I hear the telltale sound of an electric motor coming my way again. Now the fat bastard was driving around me like a fat hyena circling a potential meal heckling and deriding me because apparently I had moved the chips just to be vindictive... At this point I almost snapped. It took all my willpower not to yell out "You don't need any goddamn chips tubby, look at you." then reach down, unplug his scooter's battery and walk away leaving him stranded unless he could muster the energy to get up. Mustering all of my will I simply replied in the most strained and curt voice I've ever heard, "Sir, I DID NOT move the chips. In fact, I'm on break. However, if you'll be quite for a moment I'll point you to them." Moments later the fat bastard was scooting off to his chips.
Maybe karma kicked in and he got tainted chips that gave him severe food poisoning...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Retail Chronicles: The Chronicling, Part 1: Introduction, The Introducing
Well my non-existent readerbase I'm back so you can collectively stop weeping. I know, life must have been hard but all none of you managed to go on without me... somehow. My ego aside I've been working a summer job to help pay off my college loans in a well known retail chain that shall not be named. Now we all know that I despise the lion's share of my fellow man on a personal level, as such you can only begin to imagine the sheer volume of bile and vitriol that I choke on on a daily basis. That being said, I feel the best way to deal with all my unbridled ill-will is to channel it into some dark humor on the interwebs for your reading displeasure.
That said lets jump into the meaty core of the issue. I have to work with other people, both co-workers and customers, who say, do, behave, and look all kinds of irritating things/ways/whatever/pie. Some of which I find humorous in a condescending kind of way and others nearly cause an aneurysm. Every now and again after a particularly awesome/atrocious nugget pops up I'll chronicle it here. No I've been working there for a few weeks so I have a backlog to clear up before I can give new stuff.
Now, for a starter story we're gonna cover a character I'll refer to as loud bossy girl/terrible mother/please shut up now this individual wound up with a bun in the oven and had to drop out of school. No big deal, I try not to judge but usually fail. Now said woman has a daughter, no babydaddy around to help and an unsupportive family. I tried being sympathetic and nice, really I did, why don't you believe me, go to hell, no really I mean it I tried to be nice. Anyhoo, the more I learned the less I was able to feel any sympathy, i.e. she stated that her babydaddy once threatened to throw the baby out the door because it soiled its diaper. Now, I highly doubt some one can go from dapper gentleman to total douche in that short a time so babydaddy was likely as douchy before he was babydaddy. That said, why would you allow someone made of douchonium to sire your child? Then, upon more involuntary intelligence gathering I discovered that loud bossy girl's grandparents want to take her child. Terrible right? Not really, loud bossy girl is constantly going out getting drunk and doing drugs and hitting on guys almost as douchy as babdaddy was. That actually sounds like responsible and caring grandparents. So, anyway, point is I have trouble feeling sorry for people who cause their own problems. I'm not gonna be sad for someone who burns himself on a hot pan trying to move it without potholders for example.
Anyhow, loud bossy girl got her name by being loud and bossy. I know, witty, right? Anyhoo, loud bossy girl is a temporary hire and she wants her temporariness to become long-terminess and what not. Her way of showing people how good an employee she is is by yelling at everyone and being really bossy to people who she has no right to be bossing around. In a rare moment of compassion I informed her that perhaps being loud and annoying would be an impediment to her future employment. Rather than acknowledging my wisdom or dismissing it she rather tried to justify her logic behind her theory of being annoying and unlikeable in order to ensure continued employment. I'm not going into details but it made me wish I was at least temporarily stricken deaf so I didn't have to hear it...
Anyhoo, more to come, they'll likely be less depressing and more funny.
That said lets jump into the meaty core of the issue. I have to work with other people, both co-workers and customers, who say, do, behave, and look all kinds of irritating things/ways/whatever/pie. Some of which I find humorous in a condescending kind of way and others nearly cause an aneurysm. Every now and again after a particularly awesome/atrocious nugget pops up I'll chronicle it here. No I've been working there for a few weeks so I have a backlog to clear up before I can give new stuff.
Now, for a starter story we're gonna cover a character I'll refer to as loud bossy girl/terrible mother/please shut up now this individual wound up with a bun in the oven and had to drop out of school. No big deal, I try not to judge but usually fail. Now said woman has a daughter, no babydaddy around to help and an unsupportive family. I tried being sympathetic and nice, really I did, why don't you believe me, go to hell, no really I mean it I tried to be nice. Anyhoo, the more I learned the less I was able to feel any sympathy, i.e. she stated that her babydaddy once threatened to throw the baby out the door because it soiled its diaper. Now, I highly doubt some one can go from dapper gentleman to total douche in that short a time so babydaddy was likely as douchy before he was babydaddy. That said, why would you allow someone made of douchonium to sire your child? Then, upon more involuntary intelligence gathering I discovered that loud bossy girl's grandparents want to take her child. Terrible right? Not really, loud bossy girl is constantly going out getting drunk and doing drugs and hitting on guys almost as douchy as babdaddy was. That actually sounds like responsible and caring grandparents. So, anyway, point is I have trouble feeling sorry for people who cause their own problems. I'm not gonna be sad for someone who burns himself on a hot pan trying to move it without potholders for example.
Anyhow, loud bossy girl got her name by being loud and bossy. I know, witty, right? Anyhoo, loud bossy girl is a temporary hire and she wants her temporariness to become long-terminess and what not. Her way of showing people how good an employee she is is by yelling at everyone and being really bossy to people who she has no right to be bossing around. In a rare moment of compassion I informed her that perhaps being loud and annoying would be an impediment to her future employment. Rather than acknowledging my wisdom or dismissing it she rather tried to justify her logic behind her theory of being annoying and unlikeable in order to ensure continued employment. I'm not going into details but it made me wish I was at least temporarily stricken deaf so I didn't have to hear it...
Anyhoo, more to come, they'll likely be less depressing and more funny.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Philosophy..?
So, the urge to write has struck me and it would seem that some sort of mad neurosurgeon replaced my brain with an intro to philosophy textbook as all that is coming to mind is pseudo intellectual bull that no one gives a damn about. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with philosophy but I hate people preaching it to me and I don't want to do the same in my random insignificant blog that no one reads. I could talk at length about nihilism, pragmatism, morality, communes, utopian/dystopian societies et cetera but nahhhh who wants to hear about that. It doesn't help that I think I'd just come off as one of those morons who likes to spout stuff off, I'm no philosopher, my philosophy is simply that nothings real but what you make so make what you want and do what works and I've already spoken about that in the past. If I tried to develop that idea any further it would be little more than mental masturbation (if you suck at metaphors that would be thinking for the sake of thinking alone with no real gain in the end other than self-satisfaction) which would be a waste of mine and my non-existent readers' time.
Even worse, I could end up sounding like the Wachoski brothers in the second Matrix movie with their long-winded monologues on causality and egregiously overdone navel contemplation. All in all, I think philosophers' works are becoming overused and given too much credit in our society today. Nietzsche, a philosopher himself, tells us this. He says that all of the thinking of academics is wonderful but ultimately useless if you're trying to understand mankind as academics are far removed from mankind. Academics, educated men in ivory towers, are the exception, not the norm. As such anything they think of is not going to be true for society in general. Only by forgetting all of the higher education that we academics have crammed into our skulls and going out in to the world of "common" man can we understand it. All of the lofty talk about ideals, meaning, and purpose that you read in philosophy is missing the critical human elements that are necessary.
Wow this went from me complaining about having nothing to talk about to me giving a lecture on the overemphasis of philosophers ramblings in our thinking. I'm actually angry at myself. My goal when creating this blog was to avoid deep topics and keep posts flippant, irreverent, and fun to write. I, however, have not been in that mindset much since I've started writing on the blog. I often find myself introspective and melancholy rather than sarcastic and snarky when I sit down to write... meh...
Even worse, I could end up sounding like the Wachoski brothers in the second Matrix movie with their long-winded monologues on causality and egregiously overdone navel contemplation. All in all, I think philosophers' works are becoming overused and given too much credit in our society today. Nietzsche, a philosopher himself, tells us this. He says that all of the thinking of academics is wonderful but ultimately useless if you're trying to understand mankind as academics are far removed from mankind. Academics, educated men in ivory towers, are the exception, not the norm. As such anything they think of is not going to be true for society in general. Only by forgetting all of the higher education that we academics have crammed into our skulls and going out in to the world of "common" man can we understand it. All of the lofty talk about ideals, meaning, and purpose that you read in philosophy is missing the critical human elements that are necessary.
Wow this went from me complaining about having nothing to talk about to me giving a lecture on the overemphasis of philosophers ramblings in our thinking. I'm actually angry at myself. My goal when creating this blog was to avoid deep topics and keep posts flippant, irreverent, and fun to write. I, however, have not been in that mindset much since I've started writing on the blog. I often find myself introspective and melancholy rather than sarcastic and snarky when I sit down to write... meh...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Oh Shuttlecock... my childhood was just raped...
Yes, I am so depressed that actual curses can't fully express my inner turmoil. Before we delve into this soul crushing nugget of pure unadulterated sorrow I need to give some background. If anyone who is reading this (and I wonder if that's anyone at all, and don't really care [why am i writing {or rather typing} this then...?] and what do you do when you run out of brackety... things after using "([{}])") then you'll know that I am a massive nerd, I have always and shall remain as such. That being said you can imagine that I lead a childhood filled to the brim with nerdy things, video games, anime, comic books, and.... regular... books... (harumm, that doesn't roll off of the tongue very well). In my youth I could name every final fantasy character and give character profiles off of the top of my head. I could list enough cool animes to fill up a notebook. Hell, if I used every sheet of paper I've ever read from novels and comics I could probably cover the planet. But then I went to college and spent all my time studying, reading for classes, studying, drinking beer, studying, and getting shot down by women... I mean scoring like a madman... ahh bollocks, who am I kidding. I hadn't the time or the money to indulge in my geekieness so aside from horror movie friday with my friends I was fairly removed from all of the aforementioned geek stuff. After college I never dived back in because I was busy working, and paying bills, and trying to get sleep, and all other kinds of unfun but responsible and necessary things.
Background being done lets talk about why I may slit my wrists with a +10 rusty letter opener of crushing despair. I was feeling nostalgic and had some free time so I rented the new Final Fantasy and couldn't help but notice how much it sucked. Well, I took it back and tried to forget ever playing it. I then tried to check out if there is any good anime being made and everything that had good reviews sucked harder than a machine designed to suck things in a room filled with suckable objects. I then decided to watch some good ol' classic stuff. So I went and looked up Hellsing and instead found Hellsing Ultimate... in which Alucard decided that being scary wasn't any fun and became bishonen and then the story decided to get convoluted and messy... and then I stopped watching and was a very sad little man... And then I started wondering, was any of that stuff any good in the first place? Was anime really any good? Was Final Fantasy VII the masterpiece that I vehemently defended it as? Did Evangelion really blow hot sweaty donkey dong? Was gundam really stupid? The answer I came to was possibly. It's either that or anime and videogames all of a sudden inexplicably started being rubbish. With that in mind I went back abd looked at a lot of the things I loved when I was younger and found that it was a combination of the two possibilities. It turns out that some of the older anime's and games that I played and watched when I was younger were still cool but were cool to me for different reasons than they used to be while a lot of new stuff is absolute rubbish.
So in taking stock of all the things I loved as a child the only things that I still seem to enjoy is as follows: Lord of the Rings, anything Stephen King, Thomas Harris novels, BioWare games, some SNES RPG's, Cowboy Bebop, Dragon Ball (not in a man this is cool kinda way but more in a nostalgic, comical "holy crap I can't believe I thought something this goofy was badass!" kinda way), Watchmen, and a few other more obscure things. The impossible has happened, I've lost respect for myself(well not myself now but myself then which is still myself but a different myself than is actually myself) and that does not bode well for the universe. The existence of.... existence hinges solely on the health of my bloated ego... if this keeps up we may end up floating in nothingness (will it be black or white or will there somehow be no perceiveable color or lack thereof) wondering how we're still breathing if air disappeared with the rest of existence.
-------------------------------
As an aside I have some questions that are rattling around in my head about terible anime that everyone seems to love:
- Naruto
- Why in the name of everloving hell does
the "ninja" main character wear an
orange jumpsuit
- Is it just me or are the "ninjas" more
more like retarded versions of jedi
than stealthy assassins
- Why does the writer feel the need for
exposition in the form of flashbacks
and goofy monologues mid fight rather
than before or after or just have the
story organically incorporated rather
than being hamhandedly bludgeoned into
us?
- Bleach
- Why do all anime characters have to be
high/middle school aged? There is no
way I'll ever believe that a high school
student is competent enough to do the
shite anime characters can do
- I read information about the series and
it seems that I would need several pages
simply list all of the characters let
alone describe them. That doesn't make
for a good show just lots of loose ends
that will never be tied or a bunch of
goofy pointless characters, sometimes
less is more
- Why does everyone dress like a moron?
- Why is the main character so angsty?
If I had superpowers I'd be happy as
shit, it'd be hella-awesome. I'd run
around doing awesome shit and yelling
holy shit I rock out loud!!!
- Same thing that made Dragon Ball Z suck
characters have "power levels" that result
in new villains needing to be stronger
than the main character and him eventually
getting stronger than said villain
resulting in characters who could destroy
the universe by breaking wind (you can have
a challenge for a character without "power
levels" by having a more skilled fighter or
simply one who knows how to exploit weaknesses
or manipulate things outside of combat)
- Death Note
- If I had a magic killer notebook then I'd
not waste my time trying to make a utopia
I'd just have some "fun"
- Why in the hell is everyone so obsessed
with the main character? he's lame, evil
and not in an affable or funny way, and
his "ingenious" plots hinge on so many
uncontrollable variables that they
should never work
- Why is everyone so damn gothy?
- Why do they try so hard to make characters
look badass while writing in a notebook?
It clearly doesn't work.
I could keep going but I'm bored now.
Background being done lets talk about why I may slit my wrists with a +10 rusty letter opener of crushing despair. I was feeling nostalgic and had some free time so I rented the new Final Fantasy and couldn't help but notice how much it sucked. Well, I took it back and tried to forget ever playing it. I then tried to check out if there is any good anime being made and everything that had good reviews sucked harder than a machine designed to suck things in a room filled with suckable objects. I then decided to watch some good ol' classic stuff. So I went and looked up Hellsing and instead found Hellsing Ultimate... in which Alucard decided that being scary wasn't any fun and became bishonen and then the story decided to get convoluted and messy... and then I stopped watching and was a very sad little man... And then I started wondering, was any of that stuff any good in the first place? Was anime really any good? Was Final Fantasy VII the masterpiece that I vehemently defended it as? Did Evangelion really blow hot sweaty donkey dong? Was gundam really stupid? The answer I came to was possibly. It's either that or anime and videogames all of a sudden inexplicably started being rubbish. With that in mind I went back abd looked at a lot of the things I loved when I was younger and found that it was a combination of the two possibilities. It turns out that some of the older anime's and games that I played and watched when I was younger were still cool but were cool to me for different reasons than they used to be while a lot of new stuff is absolute rubbish.
So in taking stock of all the things I loved as a child the only things that I still seem to enjoy is as follows: Lord of the Rings, anything Stephen King, Thomas Harris novels, BioWare games, some SNES RPG's, Cowboy Bebop, Dragon Ball (not in a man this is cool kinda way but more in a nostalgic, comical "holy crap I can't believe I thought something this goofy was badass!" kinda way), Watchmen, and a few other more obscure things. The impossible has happened, I've lost respect for myself(well not myself now but myself then which is still myself but a different myself than is actually myself) and that does not bode well for the universe. The existence of.... existence hinges solely on the health of my bloated ego... if this keeps up we may end up floating in nothingness (will it be black or white or will there somehow be no perceiveable color or lack thereof) wondering how we're still breathing if air disappeared with the rest of existence.
-------------------------------
As an aside I have some questions that are rattling around in my head about terible anime that everyone seems to love:
- Naruto
- Why in the name of everloving hell does
the "ninja" main character wear an
orange jumpsuit
- Is it just me or are the "ninjas" more
more like retarded versions of jedi
than stealthy assassins
- Why does the writer feel the need for
exposition in the form of flashbacks
and goofy monologues mid fight rather
than before or after or just have the
story organically incorporated rather
than being hamhandedly bludgeoned into
us?
- Bleach
- Why do all anime characters have to be
high/middle school aged? There is no
way I'll ever believe that a high school
student is competent enough to do the
shite anime characters can do
- I read information about the series and
it seems that I would need several pages
simply list all of the characters let
alone describe them. That doesn't make
for a good show just lots of loose ends
that will never be tied or a bunch of
goofy pointless characters, sometimes
less is more
- Why does everyone dress like a moron?
- Why is the main character so angsty?
If I had superpowers I'd be happy as
shit, it'd be hella-awesome. I'd run
around doing awesome shit and yelling
holy shit I rock out loud!!!
- Same thing that made Dragon Ball Z suck
characters have "power levels" that result
in new villains needing to be stronger
than the main character and him eventually
getting stronger than said villain
resulting in characters who could destroy
the universe by breaking wind (you can have
a challenge for a character without "power
levels" by having a more skilled fighter or
simply one who knows how to exploit weaknesses
or manipulate things outside of combat)
- Death Note
- If I had a magic killer notebook then I'd
not waste my time trying to make a utopia
I'd just have some "fun"
- Why in the hell is everyone so obsessed
with the main character? he's lame, evil
and not in an affable or funny way, and
his "ingenious" plots hinge on so many
uncontrollable variables that they
should never work
- Why is everyone so damn gothy?
- Why do they try so hard to make characters
look badass while writing in a notebook?
It clearly doesn't work.
I could keep going but I'm bored now.
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